Children, like adults, have had their worlds turned upside down rather instantaneously. Kids have lost all their normal routines and direct contact with their friends and teachers, not to mention social gatherings of import (What do you mean my birthday party is cancelled?!)

It is normal for your child to be struggling right now. It is normal for your child to be more anxious, clingy, irritable, and defiant. It is normal for your child to regress. The goal right now is not necessarily for your family to thrive, learn, and grow in spades. The goal is to survive this very stressful time in one piece. Here are 5 strategies toward that end:

Parents’ Emotional Health
The number 1 thing you can do to help your child right now is to help yourself. Your child relies on you, and needs you healthy and strong, both physically and emotionally. Do what you need to do for yourself! Learn to ask for and accept help from those around you, as well as engaging in self-care.
Nurture Through Touch
Touch decreases stress levels and increases oxytocin in the body. Oxytocin, aka “the cuddle hormone,” helps us feel those warm and fuzzy, relaxed feelings. Touch also helps decrease aggressive behavior. During this time, use lots of loving touch to help your child feel (and behave) better. Bonus: you’ll be helping your own stress level too!
Move in Fun Ways
Exercise has a host of really positive impacts for mental health. Don’t make exercise a chore; Make it fun by playing with your child! Aim to get your child breathy and sweaty at least 2x a day for 20 minutes each time. There are lots of fun ideas for indoor and small backyard play you can find with a quick google search, such as relay races, flashlight tag, or tug-of-war.
Ideally, play outside. Natural light helps us out emotionally and also helps to regulate our circadian rhythm (healthy sleep pattern).
Flex Your Expectations
During profound stress or trauma, it is normal to regress. Your child might revisit earlier stages of development. They might return to thumb-sucking, co-sleeping, more intense tantrums, or difficulty with basic social skills like sharing and taking turns. This is normal and should be expected.
In order to help your child with unwanted behaviors, ask yourself: “How old” is my child behaving in this moment? How can I lovingly respond to the developmental needs my child is presenting right now? Nurture and respond to your child’s emotional age in that moment, rather than their chronological age. (Do not shame your child for “acting like a 2-year-old” but consider, how would I respond to this tantrum from my 7-year-old, if she was actually 2?)
If your child’s emotional health is falling to pieces over school, it may be time to have a conversation with your child’s teacher about shifting expectations temporarily. Children who are overly stressed do not learn as easily. Their brains just aren’t able to do it. It is very healthy to flex the normal expectations and create realistic ones.
Use Routines and Rituals
Ever wonder why your child’s classroom at school has such a firm schedule and sings cutesy songs together on the daily? Predictability and consistency reduce anxiety and promote better behavior.
To help your child cope, create daily routines with predictable, consistent sequences of events. Some kids love visual schedules, photo schedules, or checklists; these help kids prepare for what is coming next and reduce anxiety. Maintain a consistent bedtime and wake-up time; this will strengthen your child’s ability to get healthy rest on the regular.
Build or strengthen family rituals such as a special bedtime cuddle or fun activities on certain days of the week (Taco Tuesdays, anyone?). Rituals ground us and build our resiliency.

Danielle Maxon is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the State of North Carolina. She has over a decade of clinical experience working with children and families.

In August of 2015 she created her private practice, Under Wing Therapeutic Services, PLLC, which offers attachment-based therapy for parents and children. Danielle specializes in working with gifted, twice-exceptional, and neurodivergent families.

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5 Ways to Support Your Child During COVID-19

Children, like adults, have had their worlds turned upside down rather instantaneously. Kids have lost all their normal routines and direct contact with their friends and teachers, not to mention social gatherings of import (What do you mean my birthday party is cancelled?!)

Parents’ Emotional Health

The number 1 thing you can do to help your child right now is to help yourself. Your child relies on you, and needs you healthy and strong, both physically and emotionally. Do what you need to do for yourself! Learn to ask for and accept help from those around you, as well as engaging in self-care.

Nurture Through Touch

Move in Fun Ways

Ideally, play outside. Natural light helps us out emotionally and also helps to regulate our circadian rhythm (healthy sleep pattern).

Flex Your Expectations

During profound stress or trauma, it is normal to regress. Your child might revisit earlier stages of development. They might return to thumb-sucking, co-sleeping, more intense tantrums, or difficulty with basic social skills like sharing and taking turns. This is normal and should be expected.

Use Routines and Rituals

Ever wonder why your child’s classroom at school has such a firm schedule and sings cutesy songs together on the daily? Predictability and consistency reduce anxiety and promote better behavior.

Build or strengthen family rituals such as a special bedtime cuddle or fun activities on certain days of the week (Taco Tuesdays, anyone?). Rituals ground us and build our resiliency.

Under Wing Therapeutic Services, PLLC